A splash of new ink.

Thanks to everyone who voted and showed their preference for a new design.

And.. uh.. as you might have already noticed (unless you're using some fancy RSS-reader) I do have a new design up here, but.. it's not any of the ones you voted on. Heh. Er.. um.. I told you I was fickle.

But, do not despair -- you will still be entered to win a handmade item or a pint or something else lovely! I shall stick all of the names to Elliepup and the one that she holds onto the longest will be the winner. Or.. something. Yep. Just you wait and see.

And yes, this post is late. I promised it would be up last weekend, but, well, I wasn't quite ready to decide or to justify my decision, so, it's tardy. I may still be tweaking it over the winter break. I haven't done any web design since 1991 or so, so I'm a bit rusty and, well, a good ten years behind in the times. If I'm unsupervised, it'll likely end up with animated .gifs and the hamsterdance song in the background. Uncool.

I've also been having a bit of trouble with my sewing machine lately. It's breaking needles like that's what it was designed to do, so I think something's outta alignment. It worked superbly until I moved the ol' dear to my mom's house for the holidays. Sigh. These holiday gifts that I've been working on have slowed to a crawl, and I'm a wee bit concerned that I won't finish them in time. Or, worse, that I'll have to hand-sew them all. See, I feel I can fake a meager talent in assembling textiles if I can operate a sewing machine, but by hand? Eep. That's definitely a skill I haven't acquired yet.

So, back to knitting. And purling. And trying to convince the pup to do her doggy business outside, despite the snowdrifts being taller than she is.

It's the most wonderful time of the year..

I'm apprehensive about the holidays.

As of December 13th, or Monday, I'm officially on holidays for a month. While I should be excited about it, I'm feeling guilty that I'm not, and I'm concerned that without a routine I'll feel worse than I do right now.

 

I'm not good with the holidays, usually, for all of the good tidings and cheer makes me seem even more Grinch-like. I do like the holidays:

I like sweaters, and hot chocolate, and twinkling lights, and baked goods, and spending time with family, and I even like Christmas carols and church services.

I just.. am very conscious that I'm supposed to be having a good time. Or at least smiling in the photos. The holidays make my smile seem more strained than usual, I suppose.

But, I have a plan -- keep busy. I will craft like I've never crafted before. This not only will keep my hands and my brain too busy to worry too much, but it'll produce tangible results which I can perhaps even give as gifts. I'll work towards small goals and be rewarded for my efforts with practical textiles. I do love me some practical textiles.

And I can start reading novels for next term, with a couple pulpy British and Canadian lit that I've been saving for a time that I can read for pleasure.

Also - plenty of dog walks. The dog can romp around in the snow at my mom's place, and I think I'll even take the pup to the park this weekend. It'll be a good study break. There's nothing like watching a tiny dog romp around in the snow, filled with glee and wagging her tail so forcefully that she falls over. Woof.

Back to knitting. I have some gifts to work on, which I'm almost eager to finish. Almost.

A crazy little thing called love.

These neuroses of mine, readers, are troublesome these days. Alright, most days.. for the past decade. Sigh.

After a particularly rough day in which I had nothing scary to face other than, you know, the regular waking, eating, breathing thing, I find myself ready to go to sleep. That is odd, since I don't sleep well at night. I get caught in a loop and rehash all of the day's problems, which I believe are the results of my very existence. Quickly, the loop of worry and guilt gets more fodder added to it, as I remember yesterday, and last week, and last month, et cetera, et cetera. Consequently, I don't sleep, as I am too busy worrying and remembering and narrating a biased tragic tale to ..what? Oh, yes. Relax. I don't really relax. I nap during the day out of sheer exhaustion, and I knit to keep my hands busy and to rewire my automatic thoughts from everything is your fault, you terrible human to knit two, purl two.

But, tonight, as I said, I am ready to sleep. I was invited to submit to a zine which chronicles experiences with mental health issues and fights ableism, and, ultimately, is an exercise in self-love. It was encouraging to see how many people joined the group, either to submit or to purchase an issue when it comes out. I didn't feel quite so alone in acknowledging these madnesses of mine, and that is one of the most important parts in fighting these diseases.

Also, and probably even more cathartic, was an exchange between a few me and a few Twitterers. It was initiated by a formspring post by Thursday, in which she discussed the internal running commentary that accompanies some of her interactions. A half dozen of us connected with that experience, and sharing those fears and acknowledging that we have unique requirements for health was reassuring. Again, it was wonderful to see a small community arise out of an experience that can be so bloody isolating. It was definitely, as Caren said, tweet therapy.

And here's some puppyfuzz, readers, to remind you that puppy love is not pejorative. It's downright glorious.

sad songs and lullabies are singing the world goodnight sleep tight, little world

Well, readers, thanks so much for voting on a new design! I'll work on the design this week, and on Sunday, I'll post the new design, including the results of the lucky duck who gets either a homemade reward or a delicious pint. Or a latte, or whatever they like. Yep.

I spent Friday in a hell of a state due to my very first colloquium presentation. A colloquium is basically an academic conference; people speak on a topic that they've researched and will turn into a scholarly article for (hopefully!) publication in a journal or a book. I participated in the colloquium as part of a grad course I've been taking. I was one of the few undergrad students in the class, and I also presented my paper first. Eek. I am not one for public speaking, and I much prefer to do my conversing all Wizard-of-Oz style from behind a screen. Prescription pharmaceuticals were employed. I did not cry, or faint, or throw up, or ingest intoxicants, so I consider it a roaring success.

I'm still recovering from that ordeal, which seems to have taken more out of me than I expected it to. I find exhibiting emotions or any expression, save for slight annoyance, to be quite tiring, for reasons that we shall discuss once we know each other a bit better. Therefore, the colloquium stress, performance, and the celebrations afterward thoroughly exhausted me, and I think I'll have to wait until Monday to tell you all about my sewing adventures since tote bag version 1.0. Adventures were had, I assure you.

Oh - and my radio show  is on tomorrow night, Sunday, from 6pm-7pm. It's called It's Not the End of the World (Yet) and features entirely Canadian independent (usually) original music. Tomorrow's theme is winter holiday stuffs, so there might be a few covers of holiday songs. I usually steer away from covers unless the song is really fantastic, and Sunday's show will be no exception. It'll also be my last show before the winter break, so please tune in. Trent Radio 92.7 CFFF FM in Peterborough. The transmitter is broadcasting with only 15 watts right now, though, so please listen online if you can - it'll likely be a better broadcast.

Sleep well, readers, and I hope you're staying warm on this chilly night.

Your Vote Counts!*

I'm working on a (re)design for launching this blog. You, lucky duck, get to vote on a background image! If your selection is.. uh.. selected, then you could win a free homemade totebag, baked goods, knitwear, or a commercially-brewed mug o' beer, or whatever else I'm able to send you in appreciation. Lucky duck, indeed.

Here are a few options, all awesome original art courtesy of Sarah at totallysevere.com

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

H:

 I: (similar to how it is now)

 You may also be creative and suggest a background or theme not listed here. I am very open to suggestions and shall be very receptive to help with this blog (read: send you a tote bag or feed you cookies or some other sort of token of my appreciation).

So, leave a comment and vote your heart out while you still can, before I get impatient and choose one for myself, give your totebag to the dog, eat all of the cookies, knit all of the wool, and get drunk on beer, thus using up any possible prize. Remember the Little Red Hen? Yeah, I'm not that nice, so vote, vote, vote and I'll give you something awesome.

However, as I suffer from extreme self-doubt, any decision made by me alone will likely be changed frequently. That is annoying for blogs, so seriously, rock the vote.

*I reserve the right to be fickle.

Inaugural Sewing Project

Firstly, my gratitude to Jess Gilroy, for posting this fabulous tutorial. It was easy to follow, and the pictures were extremely helpful. I admit, I was a bit confused by the squaring off of the corners, which I found easier to flatten and then measure.


Calvin helps me figure out how to set up my new Kenmore sewing machine. Ain't it a beaut?

I'm having a bit of difficulty getting it to fold up into the table. Well.. it folds into the table really well, but then it falls out of the bottom. Ruh roh. Gotta get that fixed at some point. There's not really any hurry, as the machine has a case to keep the dust out and it has its own little alcove to rest in. Also, for $40 for the machine, table, manual, and accessories, it was a great deal.



Ellie helps me measure out fabric for what she believes will be a lovely dog blanket.

That green cotton will be quite a bargain once I return to Fabricland and am charged properly on my purchases today. Be nice to your cashiers, folks, even when they royally mess up. That cashier might just be my roommate and be trying to pay the bills when she's not driving to Cobourg to supply teach. Yep.


This stretchy fabric was tricky to cut with my $0.49 scissors (or whatever they cost as part of $4.00 starter's sewing kit). It was also tricky to cut with a mini doxie sitting on top of it, but she kept the cats away.


Here's the finished product!

I got so focused putting this together that I didn't take any photos during the actual sewing portion of this experiment, but I promise that I'll take some when I sew some up with the chicken fabric. Yep, chicken fabric! You'll just have to wait and see.



And here's the other side! The stretchy fabric was a bit trickier to sew, but I'm rather pleased with the results. I think that I may call my first official solo sewing project a success, and I can't wait to get back at it.

The dogs in the neighbourhood are going crazy..

It was difficult to get out of bed today, which, I must admit, is not unusual.

I set various alarms, and as each one rang, I felt increasingly less comfortable with the idea of getting up. I covered my head with my duvet and willed the nagging pain in my bladder to cease.

The dog's bladder, however, I'm unable to ignore as I do my own, so I rolled out of bed slowly, promising myself and the pup that we would both climb into bed again shortly. I bundled us both up and outside we went into the cold late-November morning, which greeted us with the first significant snowfall of the year.

And the pup promptly turned around and tried to sneak back into the house.

Um, thanks, pup.

I walked into the middle of the lawn and called her name. The dog sat down in front of the door.

I patted my knees to signal her to "come". Ellie laid down.

I whistled. Pathetic hound eyes answered me.

FINE. Back inside the house we went, and back to bed. We spent an hour together, burrowed under chenille and cotton, avoiding the day together.

I hope the pup enjoyed it at least half as much as I did.